Butterflies, the good kind.

belated.

Happy November buddies! It's nice to finally find all the free time in the world to blog again. I was cracking my head this past week thinking of ways to fill up the coming two months. Why have I got so much time to waste? It's because this time, it's not the usual summer holidays. I have officially (if I do pass with flying colours) finished my three-year degree in Professional Communication. I handed in my final assignment last Monday! Late, may I add, but better than the initial thought of "never".

I thought since everything's over I'd be caught up with so many things in life that I would barely have time to breathe. But no, I was at home eating, drinking, sleeping, watching movies, falling asleep watching movies. Lol. But there is one little special thing that makes me go all fuzzy and warm inside. Makes me all giggly and warm at the cheeks, jelly in the knees.

I haven't had these feelings in awhile. Finding new love has brought me back to the yestermonths of pain and agony that I had went through, and I've been comparing so much that the present seems better and better, and better to me. And this might sound like I have a bit of a problem but I'm scared it'd get so good that when it falters (if it does falter, see how fucking pessimitic I am), I would feel an unimaginable amount of sadness that I wouldn't be able to stand up again. I choose to call myself realistic though, because I am in the process of becoming a graduate and that would mean going back to KL for good. But still, me being afraid of happiness, because of the possibility of sadness that could follow after, does sound rather insane.

So what now? Is it stupid to live in the moment even when the future holds a definite outcome? I'm happy. I mean like, this love, it makes me feel emotions, all sorts of emotions (and emotions make me feel alive). Do you still remember the high-school kind where you're stuck in this mad love-hate relationship and you find yourself being driven up walls by the same person who gives you the butterflies? I mean, seriously, he gives me the butterflies. 

Doesn't that deserve some form of attention?

Idk about you, but I've just been through this crazy two-month phase of meeting the phoniest dicks on the planet and then suddenly God collides me with this little charmer. And I think to myself, do I feel this way because he's put in contrast with the jerks I'd just met, or is he really deserving and worth it?

No one knows.

But I'll take my chances, x.